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[24 Dec 2005|03:23pm] |
Finally a day that is totally wicked witch free. We couldnt be happier. Thank Goodness.
So. Its Christmas Eve. yay Jesus.
I talked to some kid last night with Santa Claus crap all over their myspace. And asked them why they had it.......they said they were representing Christmas: Too bad thats not what its about at all.
Id be just as happy waking up tomorrow. being with my family. And friends that are as close as family.having no presents at all. and eating frosted flakes for breakfast........whats your reason for celebrating Christmas? Presents, or Celebrating The Birth of Jesus Christ?
Its not all about that obese man with a red suit on.
Rock that Kids.
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[23 Dec 2005|10:51pm] |
I have neglected livejournal....................
oops.
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[23 Nov 2005|09:08pm] |
i miss renee
benjamin is stupid
this is my update.....
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[25 Oct 2005|03:35pm] |
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shut the fuck up.
with your timeless hymns of memorandum
FUCK YOU
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[24 Oct 2005|11:15am] |
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America....Fuck Yeah
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[24 Oct 2005|11:14am] |
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America, Fuck Yeah
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[08 Oct 2005|02:12am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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Drunk College Kids, Longwood Dorms |
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10 Years Ago:
1. I was starting kindergarten
2. Kelsey Baker was my best friend
3. I ate grass with Sally Craighill, because we thought we were cows
4. I didn't know what hate was
5. I did't know how to spell my name yet
5 Years Ago:
1. I was in 5th grade
2. The love of my life sat beside me in English class
3. My favorite color was pink
4. I played soccer announcers with Gentry on the playground
5. I left all my friends...
1 Year Ago:
1. I was a freshman
2. I met Jonathan Tucker
3. I started Tech Theatre
4. I met Marie Renee Elizabeth Beneteau
5. Midge became my method of survival
6 months ago:
1. I still ate meat
2. I cried
3. Renee was still in Lynchburg
4. I didn't know what to do with myself
5. I still hated school.......probably not as much as I do now...
Yesterday:
1. My hair looked really bad
2. I went to rehearsal
3. Doug pissed me off
4. It was Thursday
5. I drank some peach tea
5 Places I Would Run Away To:
1. Camp Hat Creek
2. Skippys place
3. CNU
4. Ali's House
5. Colorado
Bad Habits:
1. I've become so incredibly verbal
2. I eat too much
3. I worry too much about what I look like
4. I lie too much
5. I get attached to people that always go away.
Biggest Joys:
1. Hoodies
2. Josh
3. rain
4. Charles Maury Nuckols Jr.
5. Chuck Taylors
Favorite Toys:
1. CD's
2. Computer
3. Straightener of le hair
4. Sharpies
5. Telephones
Fictional Characters I Would Date:
1. Beast (In Human form, Beauty and the Beast)
2. Captain John Smith (Pochahontas)
3. Dean (Gilmore Girls)
4. Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribbean)
5. Gilbert ( Whats eating Gilbert Grape)
I cant wait to go to collge
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| fitter happier more productive |
[04 Oct 2005|10:20pm] |
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comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 Days a week)
Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fates)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in backseat)
Sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
Will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on ants)
Car wash (also on sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
no self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowers and informed member of society (pragmatism no idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tyres that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that s driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
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[03 Oct 2005|10:09pm] |
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Its getting harder and harder to hold on.....
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[02 Oct 2005|09:29pm] |
I know exactly how you feel.You were this close to closing deals when everything fell from out your hands you were forced to decide on other plans, you figured it best to just ignore it, otherwise your only living for it. And if anyone ever wondered why you did it you swear theyd never know you sold your soul to the burning bridges....
You know exactly what i want so, I dont have to be so damn upfront. No matter the moment we decide to make our minds up, i know a man who may need a new assignment. To hand in his heart and take his last vacation, attempting to spoil imagination. If anyone ever wonders where he went. I wouldn't say the he spent his time driving over burning bridges...
Burning which is nothing more than a longing for being un-involved.
Desire can cause Heartattacks.
Desire, it wont bring you back....
You are my sweetest downfall, I left you far beneath the sheets of paper. I have to go....
Fuck It. No one knows how i really feel about it. - You're the only one i care about, you're the only one I love, the only one i miss. You're my life. My best friend. With you gone I don't know where to turn in life. What do i do, where do i go. Who do i run to. Whenever I call I get the answering machine, i dont know what to say. Come Home? You're not supposed to worry....I cant take care of myself. But you're not supposed to worry...I need someone to hold me. You're temporary replacement failed all the tests. His hug just isnt the same. There could never be a good replacement, because you're the only you. Starbucks trips are few, black coffee and cigarettes, i dont understand it. Why is life so hard now. Why was it so simple then. Everything has changed, i can't wait until this weekend. It's time to live again. Seeing you're face is all i need to get me through another week. Then i'll fall back into this....I keep myself busy, but when i slow down, all i think about is you, what we did, everything, ever, everytime you made me life,everytime you held me when I cried, you mean everything to me. Do you know that? Everything in the world. I Love you more than life itself.
What am i supposed to do without you. My flame is slowly growing faint. Its almost out, but i keep going for you, and only you.
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[24 Sep 2005|06:25pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Fall Out Boy "Dance Dance" |
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I've got headaches, and bad luck but they couldnt touch you...
Midge comes home in 1 week, and 5 days.....
I dont know when i'll see Skippy again, haven't talked to him in awhile...
Benjamin and I were supposed to hang out pretty much the entire weekend. I haven't seen him. Hes grounded
Things are going around that aren't true. And they worry me. I dont understand.
I miss Renee.....
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| fuck it |
[18 Sep 2005|01:17am] |
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Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone.There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus girl. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I've become hatefull towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because i love and feel sorry for people too much i guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseaus stomach for your concern during the past years. Im too much of an erratic, moody baby! I just dont have the passion anymore. So remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy.
Life will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.
That about sums it up.
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[16 Sep 2005|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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MCR "I never told you what i do for a living" |
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Sooooo, worked from 3 to 8...working from 10 pm to ....probably 2 am....eh. whatev.
Nutcracker tomorrow at 1.
Springer and Tony are my new Best friends.
And Stallings GF is the shit
Annnnd im getting 50 bucks
And i Saw Jeff Jackson
It isnt a fashion trend, its a fucking death wish....
Whatever.
Give me two shots to the back of the head.
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[11 Sep 2005|02:06pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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My Chemical Romance |
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Your life will never be the same on your mothers eyes say a prayer.
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[08 Sep 2005|05:02pm] |
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Watermark "The Purest Place" |
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I dont really know what to say.
To those who think they own the world, think again, look around, realize you're pathetic in your ways, realize that I, being the unpopular, see you as scum, i see you as nothing. If only you could realize what you're doing to yourselves.....Im praying for you.
Addie, thankyou for these CD's they have made my day much better, they're making me call, when all i want to do is punch in walls.
Jesus, come and walk the halls of this house, shed this place, and turn it inside out with your mercy. Jesus, teach us the prayers that open these doors. Let your truth be on our steps, and in these rooms.
Learn to respect yourselves. Put your faith in something.
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[06 Sep 2005|10:07pm] |
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music |
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MCR This is what they do to guys like us in prison. |
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List five songs that you are currently 'digging'. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good. But they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your five songs:
1. "Satisfy Me" - Jonathan Tucker (I miss you)
2. "Wash Me Clean" - Zack White
3. "Light of the World"
4. "Im not Okay" - My Chemical Romance
5. "I slept with someone in Fall Out Boy and All i got was this Stupid Song Written about me" - Fall Out Boy
_________________________________________________________________________
I hope everyone knows that even though im incredibly sarcastic ALL the time, that i dont mean any mean things i say to you. I try not to say many mean things at all, im just not like that, so if i ever do, please tell me. I want to know. - Theres 4 Amazing people in my life that I want to thank from the bottom of my heart for listening to me blabble about people i miss and people i love and my best friends - You 4 are my family, I hope you know that, And you know who you are. Just know that I love you, and whenever anything happens, i'll always be there for you, no matter what. - There's some things that i can comprehend here. I'll sit and think for hours about the zillion times i've said i love you to some random person. But those 3 words mean so much to me. How could I overuse them?
Im a fish.
YGC - UNITED.
Next week, Pal Park, YGC - Im there.
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[04 Sep 2005|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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I slept with a member of FOB and all i got was a stupid song |
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God how can I do anything for you? Everything I have comes from you.
God you are everything, and God, I am nothing without you.
You can do everything you do, without me.
So why do you choose to use a little girl like me?
What Could I ever do, for you that you could not do without me. I can bring nothing to you that was not first given to me by you. All that is in me Lord is you, and the rest is all that I am. Lord you dont need me, you dont need what I am. I am nothing.
I am nothing before you. I am nothing without you. Im just a little girl before you, asking you, to forgive her for the things shes done here in this world. To give her the strength to go on and do the things you call her to.
SHOW ME WHAT I SHOULD BE
And I will do it for you.
Give me the strength to go on and do the things you call me to.
_________________________________________________________________________________
GET TO WORK: You arent being payed to believe in the power of your dreams.
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BRACE YOURSELF: They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone. But for what we've become? We just feel more alone. Always weigh what you've lost against what you've left. Progress report: IM MISSING YOU TO DEATH.
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